Ever fall in love at first sight? Contrary to popular opinion, I believe that this happens more often than you give yourself credit for. You DO find other people attractive, right?

Researchers say “the most frequently mentioned factor preceding experiences of love was finding certain characteristics of the other person desirable.” So if I’m reading that right, when you have desires you’re well on your way to falling in love. Street knowledge tells us a lot gets in the way between that initial desire, and full-blown romance. So what’s getting in the way?

You believe in love

The first thing to get is that you’re wired to believe in love. You’ll follow your emotions like a fool into the dark chambers of our mind and get lost willingly. We love the drama and the suspense associated with trying to predict the other: what is he or she going to do or say? How will this person show up next time? Is this relationship going somewhere? Or are we just having some short-lived fun?

Even if you don’t like it, you believe in the damsel in distress and the white knight destined to save her (hetero-normative stories still affect queer people). It’s part of our cultural narrative, even if you don’t believe in it yourself. Many of today’s hottest movie releases and their classic predecessors contain a sort of love story that fits this model—not all, but many.

You believe in stability

People still strive for that white picket fence even while they pretend it’s not for them. I know someone’s going to argue with me on this point. Think about it: how many of you just want a steady job with happy hour every once in awhile? Or would rather not have the responsibility of generating your own income and would be content to cash in a steady paycheck? My point here is that we desire order and stability, even while we walk around in chaos, whether self-inflicted or systemic to our social systems.

And last I checked, unless you’re talking about your love for the Universal ONE you need two to tango when it comes to romance. That means what other people think, including the community you’re walking in, matters a whole lot. When was the last time you doubled-down on meeting genuinely new people? Expanding your friendships gets harder to do the more stuck you are in your current programming.

Free Your Mind

It’s time to free your mind and extract yourself from the matrix you’ve built up around yourself. Break down the structures that keep you small and hidden. Create structures that expand rather than constrict. Build relationships that incite growth rather than degradation. Love yourself and your life to generate more love. Let yourself fall in love…again and again and again.

Here’s a love offering for you: https://open.spotify.com/track/0F845nujLVqCb0XMZCh5Pc?si=sz0K7COJRTeJ6FYH02tyqQ

1 https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-mysteries-love/201701/the-11-reasons-we-fall-in-love

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